How to Survive Grief (and How to Be There for Someone Who’s Grieving)

Grief is one of those experiences you can’t fully understand until you’ve lived it yourself.
And grief is not just sadness — it’s confusion, exhaustion, guilt, love, shock, and a thousand unanswered questions rolled into one heavy blur.

One minute you’re fine watching your favorite show, and the next you’re crying because a song reminded you of the person you lost.

As a therapist, I’ve seen how grief impacts every part of a person’s life — emotionally, physically, mentally, and socially. It’s not a single feeling; it’s a natural process your brain and body move through as you adjust to the absence of someone or something meaningful.

In this post, I want to walk you through what grief actually is, how to take care of yourself while you’re grieving, and how to show up for someone else who’s grieving.

Getting Through Your Own Grief

1. Stop asking yourself if you’re “doing it right.”

There’s no right way to grieve.

Some people cry for days. Others go numb and don’t cry at all. Some people clean like they’re in a competition. Others can’t get out of bed.

It’s all normal.

When I lost someone close to me, I remember being frustrated that I didn’t “feel” how I thought I should. I wasn’t crying every day, but I couldn’t focus, and small things — like grocery shopping — felt impossible.

That was grief, too.

If you’re eating cereal for dinner and zoning out to TV, that’s okay.
If you’re journaling or talking about your loved one nonstop, that’s okay too.

Grief doesn’t look one way. It looks like you doing your best.

2. Find tiny moments of comfort.

When everything feels too heavy, go small.

• Take a shower, even if you just stand there.

• Sit outside and feel the sun on your face.

• Eat something warm, like soup or toast with honey.

None of these “fix” grief, but they help your body remember that you’re still here.
You’re still safe — and that matters.

I often tell clients:
You don’t have to feel good. You just have to feel a little less awful, one tiny step at a time.

3. Don’t rush yourself.

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline.

You may be okay for a month and then get hit out of nowhere on a random Tuesday. A scent, a song, or a memory can trigger a wave of emotion that feels overwhelming.

This doesn’t mean you’re going backward.
It means your heart remembers.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting.
Healing means learning to carry the love without being crushed by the loss.

Eventually, the pain softens. You’ll still miss them — but you’ll also laugh again, plan again, live again.

How to Comfort Someone Who’s Grieving

This is where most people freeze. We want to help but we’re scared to make things worse.

Here’s what actually makes a difference.

1. Don’t try to fix it.

When someone’s grieving, they don’t need advice — they need presence.

Sometimes the most well-intended phrases don’t land well, like:

• “Everything happens for a reason.”

• “They’re in a better place.”

• “At least they’re not suffering.”

Instead, try:

• “I can’t imagine how hard this is, but I’m here for you.”

• “You don’t have to talk — I’ll sit with you.”

• “Would it help if I came over and we watched something together?”

Silence is okay.
Presence speaks louder than words.

2. Offer specific help.

Grief fog is real. Many people don’t know what they need or feel guilty asking.

Instead of “Let me know if you need anything,” try:

• “I’m dropping dinner off tonight — pasta or soup?”

• “I’m going to the store. What can I grab for you?”

• “I can walk your dog later if that helps.”

Specific offers cut through overwhelm and make support feel accessible.

3. Keep showing up — long after everyone else stops.

The hardest part of grief is often after the first few weeks — when the calls slow, the meals stop, and the world moves on.

Check in later.

Send a message on the birthday, the anniversary, or even a random Monday:

“Thinking of you today.”

It matters more than you think.

Final Thoughts

Grief is love with nowhere to go.
It changes you — but it also connects you to what truly matters.

When we allow ourselves to feel it, talk about it honestly, and show up for each other without trying to fix it — that’s where healing begins.

If you’re grieving, take it one breath at a time.
And if you’re supporting someone else, your presence matters more than you know.

With compassion, always —
Miranda Sikorski, LCSW

Written by: Miranda Sikorski, LCSW
Individual & Couples Therapist at Clear Journey Counseling

If you find yourself stuck in familiar but painful patterns, therapy can help. Connect with us and let’s talk.

Miranda Sikorski, LCSW
Miranda is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in trauma recovery, PTSD, anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, and life transitions. She creates a collaborative, safe, and empathetic environment to empower clients to take charge of their mental health and live balanced, fulfilling lives.