You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup: The Importance of Self-Care and Grounding

We’ve all had those days—maybe even weeks—where we feel like we’re running on fumes. Everything feels like it’s too much, our patience wears thin, and even the smallest inconvenience sends us spiraling. It’s in these moments that I often remind my clients of something simple but powerful: You can’t pour from an empty cup.

As a therapist, I see time and time again how easy it is for people to ignore their own needs while trying to meet the demands of work, family, relationships, and life in general. But when we keep pushing without checking in with ourselves, or, taking time to refill our metaphorical cup, we eventually hit a wall. That’s often when anxiety shows up, our sleep suffers, we snap at the people we care about, or we just feel disconnected and exhausted.

What Is the “Cup” Metaphor?

Think of your emotional and physical energy as a cup. Every responsibility, task, and emotional interaction—whether it’s positive or negative—pours something out of that cup. If you never take time to refill it, eventually it runs dry. And once your cup is empty, you have nothing left to give. Now imagine feeling depleted and then continuing to push forward, essentially pouring from a cup that has nothing left. 

Now, you are going into the negatives. 

That’s when burnout happens, and it’s often when symptoms like anxiety, irritability, brain fog, and even physical illness begin to emerge.

That’s right, this built up stress causes sleep issues, a weakened immune system, and there is even science that our brains decrease in size over time due to persistent overwhelm and stress. 

When we wait until our cup is so empty that we are in the negatives, that’s when simple self-care techniques that we normally use suddenly don’t feel as effective. It’s because we have to work overtime to not only refill our cup but make up for the difference that we lost.

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and spa days (though those are great too). It’s any practice that helps ground you mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually.

Why Grounding Is So Powerful?

One of the most effective forms of self-care is grounding. Grounding techniques are tools that bring us back into the present moment. 

When we feel anxious or overwhelmed, it’s usually because we’re stuck in the past (regret, guilt) or future (worry, fear). Grounding helps anchor us to right now, which is almost always safer and calmer than our spiraling thoughts would have us believe.

Here are some helpful grounding techniques that I teach my clients:

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique (Sensory Grounding):

This is a go-to for anxiety.

• Name 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can feel

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

This technique shifts your focus away from your racing thoughts and into your environment.

2. Box Breathing (Regulates Nervous System):

Used by athletes, military personnel, and therapists alike.

• Inhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4 seconds

• Exhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4 seconds

Repeat for a few minutes. This calms the body and helps reset your internal stress response.

3. Name What’s True:

When your mind is running wild with fears or assumptions, gently say to yourself, “What do I know is true right now?”

Example: “I am safe. I am breathing. I have gotten through hard things before.”

This helps quiet catastrophic thinking.

4. Ground Through Touch:

Grab a comforting object (a fuzzy blanket, a cold glass of water, a smooth stone) and describe its texture in detail. This can help shift focus away from anxious thoughts and reconnect you to your body.

5. Move Your Body Intentionally:

Whether it’s a short walk, stretching, or dancing to your favorite song—movement is grounding. It gets you out of your head and into your physical self.

Self-Care Is Not Selfish—It’s Survival

Too often, we wait until we’re at a breaking point to tend to ourselves. But self-care isn’t a luxury reserved for weekends or vacations. It’s a necessity. It’s a daily practice of checking in with your own needs—emotionally, mentally, physically—and giving yourself what you’re craving before the crash.

And let me be clear: self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Sometimes it’s setting a boundary. Sometimes it’s taking five minutes to breathe. Sometimes it’s saying “no” without apologizing. The point is to care for yourself the way you’d care for someone you love.

So if you’ve been feeling scattered, tense, or just plain tired—consider this your gentle reminder to refill your cup. Ground yourself. Take care of your mind and body like they matter. Because they do. And you do too.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood therapist 

Miranda Sikorski, LCSW

Written by: Miranda Sikorski, LCSW
Individual & Couples Therapist at Clear Journey Counseling

Take a moment to check in with yourself: How full is your cup today? If you’re not sure, we’re here to help. Connect with us and let’s talk.